Day 5 : A time when you thought about ending your own life
Being human is hard ! We experience life through a myriad of emotions that range from anger so deep it makes you want to pull your hair out by the roots to happiness and joy so complete that you seem to float upon an invisible cloud.
I’m an optimistic realist. I expect the most probable thing in life to happen whilst secretly hoping that the best thing happens instead.
I’ve only felt like giving up on myself once in my life and that was when I was fifteen. Being a teenager is exhausting( angst, hormones etc) but I also had a whole collection of stressors that contributed to the depressed mode of life that I was living then.
I felt as though the weight of the world’s suffering lay on my shoulders. When I felt pain, I felt it so deeply and immensely that it would plunge me into a dark void where all the positivity in the world could not break through. Looking back I can understand why I felt as though the only solution to the miserable existence I was enduring was to end it all.
I am a little bit older and and I am definitely lot wiser now. I have become better at handling my emotions. I have not felt like that since then and am glad for it . I am lucky that the people who are in my life radiate sunshine , happiness and love from their beings and encourage me to stay positive and happy 🙂
For those that are in that dark space and need the encouragement that I needed then now : Here is some Hiddleston love for you ❤ 🙂
Lots Of Lily Love ❤ (LOLL)