Day 22: How have you changed in the past two years?
Two years ago I was approaching the end of my grade eleven year. I was going to enter matric, my final year in high school the following year in 2013. I was anxious about a number of things back then.
*I was nervous about my future. Matric was going to be decision making time. I was scared about making decisions that would affect the outcome of my entire future.
*I was unhappy with some of my friendships. I felt a little bit out of the loop. I was aloof and angry all the time. Some of my friends ignored me and that hurt because all I needed, at that time , was someone to give me a slither of hope. My insane pride really didn’t help my situation either.
*I was on route towards recovery from an abhorrently depressing grade ten year. I was worried about my life in general. I thought I was fat. Not the cool PHAT but the overweight ,chubby, obese kind of fat. I had weird body image issues that had manifested because of the my pessimistic and antagonistic light in which I saw myself.
If someone had asked me what was wrong with me, I would have said what Benedict is saying: EVERYTHING. I felt as though everything in my life was horribly misaligned.
Two years later, I feel like a completely different person. I have more purpose and direction in my life. I no longer feel insecure about things over which I cannot exercise control. I am a different person altogether.
I have better relations with my family and most of my friends. I have a definite sense of independence. I am more comfortable with myself. My decisions are mature and well thought out.
I am also better at expressing my feelings and my opinions. I’ve stopped trying to make everyone else happy and I am now focused on attaining happiness for myself. I like the person that I am now 🙂
I need to get some sleep now. Pharmacology, my first exam, is tomorrow. I’m oddly calm. Hmm, this is suspicious. I’ll wait and see how I feel in the morning.
Lots Of Lily Love ❤ (LOLL)
