Lily then and Lily now . . .

Day 22: How have you changed in the past two years?

Two years ago I was approaching the end of my grade eleven year. I was goingย to enter matric, my final year in high school the following year in 2013. I was anxious about a number of things back then.

*I was nervous about my future. Matric was going to be decision making time. I was scared about making decisions that would affect the outcome of my entire future.

*I was unhappy with some of my friendships. I felt a little bit out of the loop. I was aloofย and angry all the time. Some of my friends ignored me and that hurt because all I needed, at that time , was someone to give me a slither of hope. ย My insane pride really didn’t help my situation either.

*I was on routeย towards recovery from an abhorrently depressing grade ten year. I was worried about my life in general. I thought I was fat. Not the cool PHATย but the overweight ,chubby, obese kind of fat. I had weird body image issues that had manifested because of the my pessimistic and antagonistic light in which I saw myself.

If someone had asked me what was wrong with me, I would have said what Benedict is saying: EVERYTHING. I felt as though everything in my life was horribly misaligned.

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Two years later, I feel like a completely different person. I have more purpose and direction in my life. I no longer feel insecure about things over which I cannot exercise control. I am a different person altogether.

I have better relations with my family and most of my friends. I have a definite sense of independence. I am more comfortable with myself. My decisions are mature and well thought out.

I am also better at expressing my feelings and my opinions. I’ve stopped trying to make everyone else happy and I am now focused on attaining happiness for myself. I like the person that I am now ๐Ÿ™‚

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I TOO DESERVE HAPPINESS, SUPPORT, LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE ๐Ÿ˜›

I need to get some sleep now. Pharmacology, my first exam, ย is tomorrow. I’m oddly calm. Hmm, this is suspicious. I’ll wait and see how I feel in the morning.

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My notes are starting to look like this.

Lots Of Lily Love โค (LOLL)

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