Public Display of Affection Aversion Syndrome

Valentines day should also be known as “THE DAY SOME PEOPLE ARE EXTREMELY( AND QUITE FRANKLY UNNECESSARILY) PUBLIC WITH ALL THEIR AFFECTION AND MAKE EVERYONE ELSE WANT TO THROW THINGS AT THEM“.

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I am of the opinion that, in a public setting, unless you are not (if not please ask yourself why) in possession of a gluteus maximus, then you have no reason to sit on anybody else’s lap. Especially if there is ย a designated seat upon which you are expected to sit and people from across the restaurant are glaring at you. Only if you are a toddler will I be able to comprehend that need.ย freaks me out

A friend of mine studying psychology has thoughtfully, and quite aptly ย “diagnosed” me with ย “Public Display of Affection Aversion Syndrome “(PDAAS). It doesn’t exist but she insists that it serves as the explanation for my reluctance to celebrate Valentines Day.

I am actually a romantic at heart and I generally think that people showing affection is sweet and adorable ( it tugs at my chordae tendineae) but please do not transform a public area into an scene from 5o shades of grey because my eyes do that thing where they just do not know where on earth they are supposed to settle.ย awkward

My lovely auntie thought of me on that “special day” and proceeded to attack me , once again, with a barrage of questions regarding my now famously ( amongst my relatives that is) ย “non-existent” love life and told me that Prince Charming would find his way to me if only I gave him some directions.

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Wizards of this world please make it possible to punch a person through WhatsApp.

Upon my reply that my “love” life was on a need-to-know basis (to her) , she huffed and puffed and then stopped talkingย to me. This gives me a few more months until she decides to pester me again. #winning


 

Even though I did not celebrate along ย , it is my sincere hope that everyone who did celebrate Valentines had a truly sublime day.tumblr_nfw3l5gql71r3mgzzo1_500

I don’t celebrate it for a number of reasons but the main one being that Valentines day is a lot of work. Being on theย giving end of all this affection is an exceptionally strenuous and stressful process:

  • Normal (affordable)ย chocolate is no longer adequate to show how much you love your significant other. On this day you are expected to traverse the earth in search for the most expensive chocolate you can hope to find. Preferably of the Swiss or Belgian variety( They are the Master Chocolatiers after all)ย . Nothing less than than that shall be acceptable for your love.
  • The roses must be blood red to show the intensity with which you desire your significant other. Any shade lighter and your significant other will , with no doubt , analyse and dissect each petal searching for the hidden message behind their not so red and passionate bouquet.
  • Delivery of said bouquet must be in a public place filled with all your acquaintances because as many people as possible must bear witness to this act of dashing chivalry and romance.
  • No ordinary establishment that provides ordinary sustenance shall do on this day. The restaurant of your choice must have a chef with at least four Michelin stars before your love can claim to have been wined and dined romantically. This is important dear. At least four Michelin stars.
  • Heaven forbid that you should forget to regale ( or spam) all your friends on Facebook , Instagram , Snap chat and Twitter with cute hourly status updates ย about how much you love “your honey-pie” , “chocolate-bear” and “how your life without them would be like dust in the wind – nothing”.
  • Lastly . Your profile pictures across all your social media platforms will have to change because how else can you display just how spectacular your Valentines day with your significant other was spent.

The receiving end is much nicer ( and considerably more stress-free) because all you have to do is smile and accept the gifts you have been offered. Nevertheless, I would rather take a nap.( And I did take a nap)

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Oh did I ? Stay tuned to find out ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

I’m not anti-Valentines day. I am only against the belief that all your love and and affection for your significant other are without base and meaning unless you buy them expensive red roses and ย expensive chocolates and take them to a ridiculously expensive restaurant ( which will probably be filled to the brim with other patrons because you will most definitely not be the only bright spark who decided to wine and dine their significant other).

I become easily overwhelmed and a day like the one above would tip me over the edge.ย In my opinion , consistent acts of love and affection are far better than a huge and spectacular outburst on a random day in the middle of a random month. ( I hope you’re taking notes SO – haha ๐Ÿ˜€ ;)<3)

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Lots Of Lily Love (LOLL) โค

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2 thoughts on “Public Display of Affection Aversion Syndrome

  1. This one I tend to agree totally. I feel like I am being forced to express my love on a particular day and as it turns out, in a prescribed way. This day freaks me, just like my birthday, where people expect me to show that I feel something is changing. I try my best to spoil my significant other regularly but not in an organised way like valentine. I find valentine more of show-off than real love. The pressure is unbearable, “what are you going to do for her or for him”, please ask me in a random day in May, July, November, what I am doing to show my love and I will gladly tell you or ask for advise. Don’t tell me to show my love on the 14th of Feb, as if its the only day, NO NO. I however, don’t have a problem with those showing their love, but don’t expect me to ask anything, I do not care to know what you want to do with your significant other on this day only unless you want to share your yearly routine, I might learn something.

    Liked by 1 person

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