Biological Clocks and Tokophobia 🕓

The pregnant female is probably the most undecorated hero that society has. Every woman that has ever been pregnant and given birth , be it via the traditional route or through surgical means, deserves numerous medals of honour and bravery. There are a myriad of complications that can occur during pregnancy , labour itself can present with its own set of difficulties and the period after delivery is just as dangerous.

I was born under an apple tree (yes, really) and I’ve never truly appreciated  my mom as much as I do now ! She is at perfect liberty to use the  “Who carried you for nine months and gave birth to you under an apple tree” line as much as she pleases from now on!

Of one thing I am absolutely sure though , that the chances of me becoming an Obstetrician and Gynaecologist are close to nil. I have been alternating between three states of being for the past three weeks ; traumatised , flabbergasted and shocked to the very depths of my soul.

vaginal delivery shock

The Obstetricians , the lecturers during this block ;the Reproductive System , have a fondness for shocking us with incredibly graphic videos of complicated deliveries like emergency caesareans , breech deliveries and shoulder dystocias.

The caesarean section video was the most traumatic yet, the baby’s head was too large for the mom’s pelvis so they had to cut through five layers of her abdomen to retrieve him😭 I nearly fainted , the operative word being nearly.

We have to observe at least three normal vaginal deliveries before third year . I’m going to go with my friend/ clinical partner who’ll be there to catch me should I have another “episode” .  Next year we’ll be expected to deliver a baby during our Obstetrics rotation , which means I will have to overcome my tokophobia before then.

Shoulder dystocia
This is what my “Episode” whilst watching the caesarean section might have looked like😅

We also have to know how to perform a Caesarean section before we graduate because in our intern years we’ll be expected to at least ten !

I’m not exactly tokophobic ;I don’t fear pregnancy itself .What I do fear is the labour process of which I am equal parts fascinated and horrified by .

The idea of having to be present with all my pain receptors fully functional is what scares me the most. My threshold for pain is not impressive. If there was a delivery method that induced an out of body experience without the use of surgical tools or anaesthesia , where I could wake up with a bouncing baby in my arms afterwards , I would take it ! A passive foetal diffusion is what I have in mind.

Through all this , I keep having to remind myself that I’m only 19 and this is in the far future (particular emphasis on far). My biological clock has plenty of time running. I’m not even in any form of a commitment that would induce thoughts of bringing another human into this world😄 Until then I will remain blissfully pain free 👌👌

Lots of Lily Love ❤  ❤ (LOLL)

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