Winter Break

After six months of working us into the ground , our course convenors deemed it necessary to give us a short break to rest our poor brains. I absolutely refuse to call fourteen days a holiday because that would fool myself into thinking that I could actually do more than just sleep.

I suppose I should be grateful they’ve given us any time off at all though.

My exams were abominable. I had the perpetual temptation to slide off my chair ,curl up into the foetal position under my table and sob quietly. The papers were more challenging than I had expected them to be , some of them unfairly so.

I thought that I had accustomed myself to the demands that the examination period brings along with it but alas,  I was proved wrong.

At my best , I can be very cool, calm and confident but this time I was the complete opposite. I panicked , I stressed myself out and I was grossly under-prepared.I expect more from myself and I suppose that’s were most of my wretchedness stems from.

I want to use the fourteen days granted onto me to wallow in my misery but that would be counter-productive. I do not want to feel this way again during my second semester examinations.  I want to change the direction of this trajectory.

I’ve felt like this for the past month.

I have very little planned during this break. I just want to give myself some time to move on from what just happened , learn from it and think about how I can change my situation next semester.

I am considering compiling revision “books” for these modules that we’ve just completed. I want to, in my heart of hearts , repress the memories from my exams and my dreadfulness along with them but I need to be an adult for now.

I know that I will need the knowledge that we amassed later and I think it would be useful to have my own personalised notes where I can address the topics I had the most difficulty with.

Lots Of Lily Love (LOLL) ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂